There I was sitting in the sound room, the studio of Michael Philip Jagger, aka Mic Jagger, as his humble guest to listen to his first song recorded outside of the Rolling Stones. I could feel the awe and starstruck feeling of watching a music Icon of so many generations begining his career on his own. On the otherside of the partition, Jagger and his duet vocalist, who’s name I had not got to know yet where sitting on stools, with the headphones on, microphone’s set, and they where smiling to each other. Their eyes where connected, and you could see them getting into the mood to begin their song.
Flashes of thoughts went through my mind as if I was holding a cam corder on myself, and I could see myself doing an interview, saying “And so there I was, sitting there, just watching Mic Jagger doing his first opening song of his album, never seen before by anyone, and I am the only person sitting in his sound box. I felt so blessed and honored, it was because my father brought Mic Jagger to Vancouver Canada for the first time in the late 60’s or early 70’s with his company Green Grass Productions.”
My mind flips back to the now, and I am watching as his big lips start to form a word, the music starts and it sounds like a hit. The guitar begins, followed by the keyboard, I lose track of the instruments as it builds up to
Jagger: “Hello my love, how are you, how can I help you, what can I do”, jagger looks to her with intenese eyes and she answers
Female Singer: “It’s him again, he has hurt me, i don’t know what to do, can you help me, can you”, she begs with her angelic tone
Jagger: “I will do anything in my power, I would do anything for you, I will lift you up and empower, if you want me to”
Female Singer: “He hurt me again, can you take him away, can you stop him, can you help me, can you make it end”
Jagger “I said I would do anything in my power, anything at all, but I can’t help you, its an echo, its you, the war is you, it’s you”
The music plays louder and then cuts. The girl begins clapping, and crys and gives Jagger a big hug and the studio and I have heard the begining of the first song being prepared for recording.
Of course, at this point, as any good sagway would lend itself, especially when dealing with the mysteries of ones mind, I awoke to find myself at home in my bed. The very bed in which I had been awaking with anxiety for the last 5 years, after the nights of drinking, stress at work, divorce from my wife, seperation from my child, and many other pains, trials, and tribulations. My mouth was still making out the last line of the song chorus “ I can’t help you, it’s an echo, it’s you, the war is you, it’s you.”
Looking for immediate analysis of the dream I began to ask myself, why did I have this dream. How could something so profound approach me in a dream like this. A flash memory came over me as I remembered the morning before sitting in my car, where I was playing a CD on Love, it was a recorded conference of Paul Ferrini. Paul is a man who dedictated his life to the studying of love. As he spoke he mentioned the christ mind, and god, and just the mention made me feel uneasy. I was not willing to take any message in, I asked myself while I was driving… “Isn’t there a way to get the point across about what he is trying to say without mentioning God.”
On that note, I find myself in my bed again, murmering the words, “I can’t help you, its an echo, its you, the war is you, it’s you.” What did Paul Ferrini say the day before that would make my mind think of an echo. And then the pieces came together, I recalled a step-mother asking Paul about her problems with a child, the child’s mother, and the dynamics of the problems she was having. He told the woman to close her eyes and then he began to tell her, that the little girl she is having problems with is her, that the maternal mother is her, and that it is all her. That it is all voices inside of her.
I went back to the song and thought, then “him hurting me is me” that no one can help me inside of their power, not even the highest power, because it’s me. It’s all me. It’s an echo of me.
And then I asked myself a very simple question “Am I loving myself right now?”
By Ryan Gibson
April 27th 2008
Posted in Uncategorized
